an intimate confession

blogging..
what am i blogging for..
it seems that ive forgotten the reason for why i started this so-called hobby of mine..
what were my intentions?
and life..
what is the purpose of of life..
what am i living for..
ive been too caught up with this world..
ive managed to ignore my real duties of this world..
instead i dwell and linger in this fake world..
a world of nothingness..
i have sinned..
so much sins that even i can't forgive myself..
i hate myself..
im actually sick of myself..
forgive me myself..
ive forgotten what I was once..
what i have become..
i dont know me anymore..
what is this change?
is it good or it only brings me sorrow..
where should I go now..
i am confused and dazed..
i need guidance..
i need a slap in the face..
i cannot stay here forever..
i should be moving on..
into the path of serenity and truth..
I am sorry for becoming into what i am today..
I could only wish things would change into the way it was before..
but I am only a human..
making mistakes..
making sins...
what should i do..
what should i do..
Dear God..